Heading Out

Well, I guess this will be my last entry while I’m “in country”. The recent lack of entries on the blog is due to a combination of careful steps not to give away too much to those we fight against, concern for unjustified worry back home, and the inevitable drain of inspiration that comes with spending too much time in the desert environment. The things that were worth telling, I didn’t want to (or couldn’t) tell for various reasons…and the day to day mundane things were a dry brush across the canvas.

I can tell you now that I’ve experience the plume of dust that seemed to rise from the very spot I was parked a minute before when viewed in my rearview mirror. I’ve experienced the shockwave from a blast that made my chest feel weighted down by a force that made it impossible to inhale…if only for a moment. We had an attack that was so close to our compound that it dropped two of my guys that weighed in excess of 200 pounds to their knees. I never once feared for my life.

I say the last not because I feel it necessary to prove I’m a brave man. A brave man is someone who is afraid of something, but chooses to face it anyway. The fact that I never feared for my life may very well be some defect, but it certainly wasn’t bravery. With that said, I witnessed fear and bravery everyday (if not in myself than in others). I didn’t disdain one and embrace the other as you might think. I did what each of us do on a daily basis, and worked to understand both and get to know the people that represented the notions.

I imagine that most of you have a certain view of the American Fighting (wo)man. I can assure you that there is no “mold”. The people over here are a cross section of people you meet everyday. There are traits that stand out that are common among them, but none of them can be lumped into some convenient group. The best of them lead with honor, and I imagine if you were to bring that word back to its roots it would be derived from some Latin word that also gave birth to the word “honest.”

My definition’s may not coincide with Webster’s, but to me, honor and honest come back to “being true”. True, whether to a friend or to a cause. True enough to examine something as a whole, and ensure that it is what it seems.

I serve with people who have different views of this war. Some think it an imperative, while others wonder why we’re here, but all of them are true to their beliefs. Regardless of how we got here, all of them know that there are forces at work that intend to steal something that is highly valued to our country and the people that live in it. We deal with that reality everyday, and it unites us. The idea that some in this world favors repression to freedom, and rote memorization instead of freedom of interpretation.

I leave here tired, but glad that I came. I’m happy with my contribution, and proud of the people I’ve served with. I have more insight about the people here; having less hostility for most, and more for others. In the end it was more personal than national, and I am looking forward to telling you all about it.